Coffee Cravings and the C9 Challenge – from a chronic blogger

Question… Will I be arrested if I nip in to costa and just sit and sniff other peoples cups of heavenly goodness. That’s how I felt this morning on my first day of the C9 Challenge.

Last night I did my prep, chopped a stack of fruit and veg and packed 2 lunches, one for me and the other for my co-cleanser (Jack). We are embarking on the Forever Living C9, an Aloe Vera based cleanse. Not because it’s been a celebrity diet used by the likes of Posh, Miss Universe and the much loved Bobbie from T.O.W.I.E, but because I’ve seen first had the incredible difference its made in my parents. So this morning off to work I skipped with an apple in hand and a Mushi Monster pack lunch box.  

My positivity was soon stunted when I had to walk past Costa … no cup of morning wake me up juice … then I get to work where my desk is conveniently positioned next to the fresh filter coffee… But it’s my first day and I’ve gone coffee cold turkey, so I need to expect a few little withdrawals. The leaflets provided in the Clean9 pack are very informative and do forewarn that this cleanse does take dedication, with this in mind I have done my research and found that you can drink the likes of Mint and Green Tea. It’s not coffee but it warm and is differently helping with the cravings.

That was my biggest concern with the cleanse, not the diet but the lack of coffee, I’ll keep you posted over the next few days to see if I crack!

So far from the pack, I’ve taken my tables drank my Forever Fibre and sampled the Aloe Gel (probably the most important part of the Cleanse). The Forever Fibre has no real flavour, it comes in a schet and is easy to drink. However the Aloe Gel has a bit more of a flavour and to be honest tastes like something that should be good for you… if you get my meaning!. When I’ve completed the C9 I’m looking forward to moving on to the Forever Flavoured Berry Nectar, easier to drink and geared towards support your urinary tract and digestives systems.

Its lunch time now and my selection of recommended Free Foods is doing the job, I’m not hungry, feel positive and am enjoying the work banter after everyone saw my Mushi Monster lunch box. I can only images the stick Jacks getting from the boys on site, as as I sent him to work with Spider Man box full of “Rabbit Food”!

Wish me Luck and if you’re interested in healthier you and fancy joining me on the C9 Challenge, then here is a great link that could help you lose weight, cleanse your body and raise a bit for charity too!

http://www.fabbyfeb.co.uk

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Time To Ditch The Fat Pants- From a chronic blogger

This summer I watched an incredible transformation, my dad so is an ME and Fibro suffer finally found a winning formula to improving his quality of life. So with my kids as motivation and my Dad as inspiration I plan to finally attempt to get out of my fat pants and make 2017 a great one.

My resolution for this year is a simple… Get Well! More than anything I want my kids to see a more active and healthy mummy. I want to finally reach the top of OMoa (our stunning Spanish Mountain) and teach my daughter to ice skate. But fist I need to shed a few pounds and clear out 2016’s toxic rubbish still rumbling around in my system. 

I’m a “Spoonie” a term adopted by Chronic Illnesses sufferers, I have a list of conditions that’s so long, an attempt to list them all may result in Frozen Thumb Syndrome!. 

When you suffer multiple illnesses, be it chronic, autoimmune, invisible or mantle health, it can be confusing and all consuming. It’s often difficult to know where to start when you want to  take back some control over your life and your health.

 A friend of mine whose a Nutritionist told me that “to make positive changes in your body you have to start on the inside, from the gut” so for 2017 I’m following her advice and braving a cleanse while hopefully changing some of my habits for life. 

That is why I’m about to embark on the Feel Fab fo Feb C9 Challenge. 

C9 is a Aloe Vera based cleanse, and for those of you unfamiliar with the wonders of Aloe, it’s nature’s antibacterial, antifungal and antiviral wonder plant. The cleanse involves a strict diet but with plenty of shakes and supplements to help you along the way. I’m using the “Forever Products” purely because I’ve seen first hand the positive changes it’s made for my parents.

I’ll keep you updated with some product reviews and hopefully throw in a few of my top tips for surviving as a Spoonie parent. And if you fancy joining me in the C9 Challenge, here’s a link below. 

Www.fabbyfeb.co.uk

Happy New Year Everyone and here’s to a healthy 2017

Brats in Cafes – from a chronic blogger

The owner of a cafe recently requested on Facebook that unruly toddlers be taken outside so as not to disturb other customers. As a parent of two I can assure you that most of us at some point will find ourselves confronted by an uncontrollable red faced, screaming beast that once resembled your child.image001_1

A toddler tantrum at home can be easily dealt with but a full on public meltdown is the stuff parents nightmares are made off. It’s in these moment you pray for some kind of natural disaster to swallow you whole and not just because you have been thrown in to a battle of wills with a scarlet monster, but because you have now unwittingly become the main attraction in an arena of judgemental spectators.

My issue isn’t so much with the  FB  post although I don’t believe it was necessary, my concern is with the continued hostile reaction to parents and testing toddlers. People from all walks of life are protected from discrimination so why is it considered ok to repeatedly publicly attack parents?

A while back I posted about an awful experience I had at a local cafe, my 2 year old was being a little toad in a place I visited regularly. I always tipped well and did my best to clean up the chaos left in his wake. Unfortunately I suffer from various chronic conditions and this can sometimes impair my mobility, a lack of high chairs meant I was desperately trying to keep him seated but the temptation of playing with the blinds was proving far too much for my boy. There was no screaming but he did try to pass me a plate that smashed on the floor.

I was with two friends and their children and to be honest the whole experience was exhausting. When the bill came the owner asked me to pay for the plate. You may think this fair however I had previously worked in catering for 10 years and in that time I have never asked for anyone to pay for a broken glass much less plate. She then complained about the mess made by the children and said it was embarrassing. This hit a nerve as under normal circumstances I always try and tidy up but a Fibromyalgia flair had stopped me cleaning up the bits from under the table.

I posted about the experience on Facebook and was shocked at the aggressive response from the general public. Repeatedly people said “if you can’t control your kids don’t take them out” or ” parents should control their brats” one lady said “stupid mothers think that life revolves around them and have no consideration for others” another posted commented that “no one wants to hear bloody screaming brats when they are trying to enjoy a quiet coffee” sadly this is an attitude that parents face daily.

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A few months later I read an article on line about a mother and tantruming toddler asked to leave John Lewis and the comments that followed were even more shocking! “xxxxing stupid brats should be slapped” and “it’s about time someone stood up to selfish parents”. Unfortunately this was an attitude echoed this week online after Good Morning Britain interviewed the cafe owner.

What saddens me is this complete intolerance of young children and their parents. Most of the mothers I know are trying desperately hard to juggle a zellion things, whilst raising a family with as little drama as possible. A tantrum isn’t a reflection on a child or a parent, but more likely a reaction to moment. You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes, or what’s happened with that child. If a tantrum is an isolated incident then a mother might not have the knowledge in how best to deal with the troubling behaviour quickly. There could be underlined health or disability problems, or it could simply be that the child is just well and truly overtired and hungry. I know grown men that can’t function after a bad night’s sleep, and God help anyone near my mum if she’s not fed by 5pm sharp. Yet no one gives them a hard time for being difficult or having an off day.

Too often I hear that mothers are feeling isolated especially during the terrible toddler phase. Disciplining your child in public is a tricky talent to master. Raise your voice to a testing toddler and you face the raised eyebrows and disapproving looks of strangers, try to ignore the behaviour and you could find yourself in line to be stoned at the next public execution. I know mothers suffering with Post Natal Depression that are terrified to go out in public and I’ve sat with anxious dads in restaurants, that bolt for the door the moment their kids start to grizzle.

Having worked in catering for many years I do emphasise with people out for a quite bite and completely understand how infuriating and dangerous it is when parents let their kids run riot. However if I saw a struggling parent I would always offer to help where appropriate and you can’t put a price on a friendly smile or acknowledging nod when the Werechild strikes again.

I have struggled through these difficult early years and have to say that removing my monster from a restaurant when a tantrum strikes normally works wonders, however sometimes as parents we have to stand our ground and face the explosion. Luckily we have come through the other side and survived eating out saga.  People are more likely to comment on the polite and well behaved little 2 year old I have sitting next to me.

In the arena of toddler tantrums I do believe it reasonable to ask spectators to give parents a chance to parent. In the same respect if the tantrum is a real ground shaking wobbler, it may help to take 5 and give you child a chance to compose themselves. Either way I think a bit more empathy and compassion from everyone wouldn’t hurt.

And finally I would like to say that the continued online attack and complete toddler intolerance isn’t helping any of us. Aren’t parents and their young children deserving of the same compassion and understanding you may show a struggling stranger rather than intolerant judging. After all I thought we had moved on from the days when children should be seen and not heard?

Good Morning Britain – Interview and links below. http://www.itv.com/news/granada/2016-10-24/toddler-tantrums-cafe-owner-says-its-not-acceptable/

Cuddle Fairy
3 Little Buttons
Diary of an imperfect mum

Chronic Life – Pick Yourself Up

Yesterday I came across the most beautifully motivational video by #YeahDude and wanted to share it with my fellow #chronicworriors and #mentalhealth comrades! The dramatic music and stunning visuals are simply magical.

Watch the video https://youtu.be/ArqWsxtiLuo

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The life of a chronic parent at times is fought with selfdought, frustration and guilt. Sometimes our journey is tough, sometimes it feels unfair, and there are times when you just want to give up!

It’s in these difficult moments that it’s important to remember that you are not alone. At some point in our journey we all fall and have all failed. Each of our paths are different, some may take a little longer or lead you in completely new direction, but if you persevere eventually you can and will find your way.

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Many of our condition are long term and some suffer for life, so we need to find balance and be realistic in the expectations we put on ourselves.When you fall or are at your lowest remember what truly matters and always, always find a way to pick yourself up!

Yeah Dude and their new music video, “Headway” , created by Nicolas Romieu and Yohann Grignou. Featuring slackliner Louis Boniface.

Watch the video – https://youtu.be/ArqWsxtiLuo

Brilliant Read on the video for those that LOVED it as much as me. http://thecreatorsproject.vice.com/blog/violin-fairy-tale-slackline-jumping

Thanks – From A Chronic Blogger

My journey as a keyboard warrior and chronic #blogger has been truly uplifting. The social media community has welcomed me with open arms and the wonderful people @mytomorrows gave me my fist opportunity to #guestblog. Since then I  have had several opportunities for blog spots and can’t wait to work with some really exciting people.

In 3 months I’m on my way to 3000 Twitter followers, I’ve met some incredible people, learnt what a #Spoonie is, joined a few Twitter Community Hours and have plans to finally attend a #LinkyParty.

Currently my work in progress is a Twitter Calendar with all the best opportunities and communities so you know where you can go for support or meet like minded people. It will be up and running very soon so watch this space!

Personally things have been hectic, the kids are chaotic and I brought and sold a house from a hospital bed (Don’t you just love the chronic life)! Hopefully I can be forgiven for being a bit retweet, trigger happy this month and promise to be back on form in the next few week with fresh content… Just after a take a little nap…

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Hospital, Kisses and Yoghurt

Every now and then you see something so sweet it needs to be shared. There’s this little old lady she is soo sick in hospital, obviously in pain, finds it hard to eat and can hardly move. Shes had no visitors since early yesterday afternoon so was alone all night. She’s still got a bit of fight in her and gives the nurses a hard time with her highly amusing antics. 

I was so please to see that her husband came to visit her at lunch. He shuffled in with his stick and smart shirt and the little old lady smiled. It took him 30 minutes to feed her a yoghurt and with every tiny spoonful he kissed her face, or stroked her hair. They must be in their late 80’s and completely in love. They have sat holding hands and chatting since lunch. I think they are so lucky to have each other and truly hope his visit brings her some comfort tonight. I wish her well and hope she can go home soon, evan if it’s just for a short while, as I bet the little old man, with his smart shirt and stick is missing her tramendiously. X x x x x #parkinsonsuk

Sometimes moments touch you so deeply you never forget them. It was only after I posted this that I found out she had Parkinson. 12 months on and I’m still hopeful she made it home, if only for a day, just so they could hold hands, steal a few more precious moments together and maybe even a yoghurt.

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Cuddle Fairy

Parenting With A Condition – How to survive the holidays!

The Holidays are upon us and so is the pressure to entertain the kids with action packed events. Personally I had planned on taking the kids mountaineering up Everest, followed by dinosaurs riding and a quick trip to Middle Earth…. Unfortunately my time machine is out of action and at the moment I find climbing the stairs an issue, so I may need to be slightly more realistic in my expectations. However my 8 years of battling one condition or another means I’m well versed in surviving the holidays.

Four years ago the thought of the school breaks filled me with dread. I could never match the high energy of my daughter (The Chaos Kid). Facebook posts of my Supermummy friends only made me feel like a failure, but I eventually found my patter and survived the holidays in one piece. Then I fell pregnant with my boy and everything changed. Nothing like a few emergency trips to A&E and days on oxygen to put a bit of perspective on things, throw in some allergies, SPD, 8 weeks on crutches, gestational diabetes, insomnia and carpel tunnel and you have the recipe for a great big fat mortality wake up call. I realised it was time to start genuinely appreciating the good days and develop a way to get the most from the more trying ones.

Here are a few of my simple tried and tested tips on surviving the holidays when Patenting with a Condition, hope you enjoy them!

Put Down Your Phone – Stop reading social media (for a little while anyway). It’s too easy to make it look as though you’ve holidayed like a celebrity. It’s not always a true reflection of someone’s day. If you’re comparing your trip to the park, to Supermummys white water rafting adventure and feeling inadequate then just take a step back. They don’t have your condition or children so you are being completely unfair to yourself. 📱

Book In Rest Days – Don’t overdo it, it’s tempting to try and take on too much, we all want our little darlings to have the greatest time ever, but wearing yourself out will mean short tempers and more days stuck on the sofa feeling guilty.

Get a Back Up – Know your condition, if you feel a flare up coming on have someone close that can take the kids out for the day. Never feel guilty resting today so you can enjoy tomorrow.

Minimal Mess Games – We have created some wonderful games to play from the sofa. These include Sofa Sock Dodge ball, Indoor Fort Boyard and our own version of The Cube (instructions to follow). I know these all sound a bit energetic but they mostly consist of me sitting with a stopwatch and cheering when the Chaos Kid completes a new challenge. 🏆

Duvet Day (my favorite when I have a flare up) – We get the sofa bed out and chill all day with movies pizza and popcorn. The kids love it, it involves lots of snuggles and you can even squeeze in a nap. Duvet Days work just as well from your bed or theirs or just throw some blankets on the floor. If you need to rest make sure you do and once in a while a pajama day can make the world of difference. 😴

Turn off the Tablet – You may think I’ve gone barking mad as it’s a tool we all use far too often, with the kids  when conditions are bad. However try and make the effort to amuse them on the good days, and then when you really need time to heel let them have it back. Not only will the little munchkins be more than happy to leave you in peace, they will love you for it 😍

Online Shopping – Do yourself a favor and food shop on line, stock up and make sure you don’t get caught short. You may well risk your sanity by attempting to drag the kids to the supermarket.

Snack Attack – One of my previous blogs was about Family Feeding when you have a condition but as a side note, avoid surgery snacks where possible. It’s no fun having to deal with pumped up kids on a sugar rush. It’s healthy snacks for us most days and sweets as a treat.

Go Noodle – My daughter discovered this website  at school, it will drive you insane but is a fabulous way to keep board youngsters active indoors. Log in to the link below and go to my channels. From here they can access fun activities like kids Zumba or Yoga. I challenge you not to giggle while watching the madness and if you’re feeling up to it join in. 💃

https://www.gonoodle.com/

Enjoy It – Please try not to let your condition get in the way of enjoying time with your children. It might prevent you from abseiling down the nearest pyramid, but it can’t stop you from cherishing the good days and cuddling up for the bad ones.

imageHave a fabulous holiday!

Chronic Pain Parenting

I’m frequently asked what Chronic Pain is and I normally answer “living with Practical Jack and the kid’s” but the truth is far less amusing. Chronic Pain, Invisible Illnesses and Auto Immune Diseases aren’t always immediately life threating however they can have a massive impact on your life.

I’ve tried to write this blog previously and it was so long and depressing I scraped it and started again. So in brief here is what chronic pain can mean to a parent and some quick tips for surviving ….

1 – Sleepless night and not because the kids are up. It’s impossible to get comfortable.

2 – Waking up sore and stiff with no chance to wait for pain relief to kick in as its time to feed the masses, hunt for matching socks and scrub toothpaste of a now unclean school jumper.

3 – Having to ask and accept the offers of help from friends and family as small daily tasks can be draining. Feeling like you can’t take care of your children can be sole destroying.

4 – Trying to explain to your kids why you can’t play with them again and watching their disappointed little faces.

6 – Daily chores that used to take minutes are now a struggle leaving you feeling frustrated.

7 – Being judged by so many when you’re running late, cancel a play date or appointment. Feeling like you have to constantly apologise for feeling incapable.

8 – When the pain can be so bad it hurts to even hold your baby or cuddle your kids but you won’t let the pain stop you.

9 – Knowing that this could be for life, forever, so you just hope tomorrow will be one of the good days.

Chronic Pain is draining and there are so many different conditions and dieses that can cause it. Doctors can be fairly dismissive so it can take months or even years to get an accurate diagnosis. Be persistent and honest with your doctor and don’t be palmed off under the stress/depression blanket.

Once you have an accurate diagnosis you can start to move forward with medication, physio or treatments.

While you’re waiting for countless test results to come through, research your symptoms online. Read credible websites only and don’t get suckered in to costly quick fix remedies out of desperation to feel better.

Learning to accept you conditions it tough, sometimes the realisation that that you could be dealing with this forever is overwhelming. Remember just because you’re accepting your condition doesn’t mean you have to give in to it. A few life changes can often help reduce symptoms and the frequency of flare ups.

Be gentle on yourself, if your best friend told you they had an illness you would be sympathetic. Give yourself the same compassion you would show them. You wouldn’t think badly of your bestie if she was sick and needed rest, so allow yourself guilt free healing time.

Headspace – Take 10 is a brilliant free Mindfulness app you can use to relax and meditate. It’s one of the easiest to follow and there is bags of research to suggest Mindfulness and CBT can massively improve your symptoms.

Diet and water….. Do I really need to go in to this? I will be reviewing some gluten free recipe books later this month and will let you know of anything scrummy I find. There is also a previous blog for ‘Family Feeding’ that I will repost at a later date.

Currently there is a great deal of research being around Vitamin D deficiency and Chronic Pain (I’ll repost this article in the week). Talk to your doctor or herbalist about vitamins and complimentary therapies that can help ease your condition.

When it’s really bad all you can do is rest, but being stuck on the sofa isn’t always so bad. Get creative, there are some great games to play with your kids from the couch and remember everyone loves to snuggle up and watch a great movie. Being at home can mean you get to spend some really quality time with the kids and if the worst comes to the worimagest comes to the worst there’s Twitter! 😜

If you feel like giving Headspace Take 10 a go here’s the link:
http://www.headspace.com

​Day 2 – Condition and Secrets – From a chronic blogger

I’m surprisingly unhungry on Day 2 of this Aloe Vera Cleanse, however I’m desperately missing Coffee and if another person in my office uses the toaster I may mug them for slice!! 

Mixed up the lunch boxes today, so Jack’s been sent off to work with a brightly coloured Moshi Monster Box and I get Spiderman. If the boys on site gave him a hard time yesterday then he can expect a real ribbing today!

One of the things they ask you to do on the first day of the C9 is write down all you secrets like weight and waist size. We are lucky enough to have some posh weighing scales at home due to the fact that Jack is a “Gym Bunny”.  Not sure if “Gym Bunny” is the best term for someone that pushes weights but it amuses me to call him that! So not only did we take our weight and measured the important bits, but we have also taken our body fat, bones density and muscle mass. 

Since my first bundle of chaos, we discovered that I’m allergic to being pregnant.  And by this I mean it really doesn’t suit me. I developed many conditions including allergies, chronic asthma, gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia. I spent one Christmas night stuck in the Resus room of A&E, crying in to my oxygen mask because I was missing the end of Doctor Who! This resulted in an uncomfortable 3 week hospital trip, where I shared a conveyer belt style room with women in labour, and learnt to swear in about 15 different languages! If you didn’t already know women in labour tend to suffer from Tourette’s.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Preeclampsia/Pages/Introduction.aspx

The second pregnancy left me with, Carpel Tunnel,  SPD in my hips, 8 weeks on crutches and Post Natel/Putums Depression (do you blame me)? Unfortunately 8 years on from my first pregnancy I’m still struggling with joint conditions, chronic asthma, Fibromyalgia, excessive weight gain and many more. But I would do it all again in heartbeat for my two crazy kids! 

My Dad a  CFS/ME (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and fellow Fibro warrior recently took part in the C9 Challenge, so far he’s lost a whopping 1.5 stones in two months, and feels better than he has done in years. 

He swears by the Aloe Gels and loves the shakes. It’s also worth mentioning he has battled with the doctor for the B12 injections, something that is considered to be exceptionally brilliant when fighting the likes of ME and Fibro. The B12 injections are still in trial stages and although imany people are finding them incredible helpful, doctors are begrudgingly prescribing them due to the cost, but that’s another blog…  

Anyway the possibility of improving my symptoms and looking fabulous are my motivation for taking part in this Forever Living 9 Day Cleanse, I really wanted to see if this is formula can really make a difference in my everyday life?

My main concerns with any diet or detox are:  A – Coffee Cravings and B – Energy.  As a parent of 2 crazy kids, one who doesn’t sleep and the other literally bounces of the walls (she’s an 8 year old Parcour maniac), I need to keep my energy levels on point. I will also be on the lookout for any changes in my conditions, if fatigue kicks in I may need to deviate from the C9 diet slightly, but time will tell!

So for the sake of this challenge and as requested by my little Mum, who has just becomes part of the Forever Living Team, I will share are all my secrets, details, goals and conditions. At the end of the 9 Day Plan I’ll compare my results to see if the C9 Challenge really has worked for me. Wish me Luck!

Interested in trying the Forever Living C9 Challenge yourself, just click the link!

http://www.fabbyfeb.co.uk

Great Link for finding out more about the B12 Injections.

http://universityhealthnews.com/daily/energy/vitamin-b12-shots-benefits-for-chronic-fatigue/

She Loves Herself – This Mum’s Life

mess & merlot

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After years at dance school resulted in an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise, Lucy from This Mum’s Life is on a mission to love her post baby body again. With her newfound approach to life and loving herself I’d say she’s got this…

This Mum's LifeName 3 parts of your body that you love and tell us why they’re so fabulous?

I like my eyelashes-they’re naturally dark and long!

I like my hands, because they’re quite delicate-I did ballet for years, and people often say that my hands look very graceful still, when I move-I love it when people say that!

Not a body part, but I’ve always liked that I’ve got an unusual combination of features. I have red hair, but I also have really dark eyes, and skin that goes very olive with a little bit of sun. Not many red heads have that, as most are pale. My mum…

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Brats in Cafes – from a chronic blogger

The owner of a cafe recently requested on Facebook that unruly toddlers be taken outside so as not to disturb other customers. As a parent of two I can assure you that most of us at some point will find ourselves confronted by an uncontrollable red faced, screaming beast that once resembled your child.

A toddler tantrum at home can be easily dealt with but a full on public meltdown is the stuff parents nightmares are made off. It’s in these moment you pray for some kind of natural disaster to swallow you whole and not just because you have been thrown in to a battle of wills with a scarlet monster, but because you have now unwittingly become the main attraction in an arena of judgemental spectators.

My issue isn’t so much with the  FB  post although I don’t believe it was necessary ; my concern is with the continued hostile reaction to parents and testing toddlers. People from all walks of life are protected from discrimination so why is it considered ok to repeatedly publicly attack parents?

A while back I posted about an awful experience I had at a local cafe, my 2 year old was being a little toad in a place I visited regularly. I always tipped well and did my best to clean up the chaos left in his wake. Unfortunately I suffer from various chronic conditions and this can sometimes impair my mobility, a lack of high chairs meant I was desperately trying to keep him seated but the temptation of playing with the blinds was proving far too much for my boy. There was no screaming but he did try to pass me a plate that smashed on the floor.

I was with two friends and their children and to be honest the whole experience was exhausting. When the bill came the owner asked me to pay for the plate. You may think this fair however I had previously worked in catering for 10 years and in that time I have never asked for anyone to pay for a broken glass much less plate. She then complained about the mess made by the children and said it was embarrassing. This hit a nerve as under normal circumstances I always try and tidy up but a Fibromyalgia flair had stopped me cleaning up the bits from under the table.

I posted about the experience on Facebook and was shocked at the aggressive response from the general public. Repeatedly people said “if you can’t control your kids don’t take them out” or ” parents should control their brats” one lady said “stupid mothers think that life revolves around them and have no consideration for others” another posted commented that “no one wants to hear bloody screaming brats when they are trying to enjoy a quiet coffee” sadly this is an attitude that parents face daily.

A few months later I read an article on line about a mother and tantruming toddler asked to leave John Lewis and the comments that followed were even more shocking! “xxxxing stupid brats should be slapped” and “it’s about time someone stood up to selfish parents”. Unfortunately this was an attitude echoed this week online after Good Morning Britain interviewed the cafe owner.

What saddens me is this complete intolerance of young children and their parents. Most of the mothers I know are trying desperately hard to juggle a zellion things, whilst raising a family with as little drama as possible. A tantrum isn’t a reflection on a child or a parent, but more likely a reaction to moment. You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes, or what’s happened with that child. If a tantrum is an isolated incident then a mother might not have the knowledge in how best to deal with the troubling behaviour quickly. There could be underlined health or disability problems, or it could simply be that the child is just well and truly overtired and hungry. I know grown men that can’t function after a bad night’s sleep, and God help anyone near my mum if she’s not fed by 5pm sharp. Yet no one gives them a hard time for being difficult or having an off day.

Too often I hear that mothers are feeling isolated especially during the terrible toddler phase. Disciplining your child in public is a tricky talent to master. Raise your voice to a testing toddler and you face the raised eyebrows and disapproving looks of strangers, try to ignore the behaviour and you could find yourself in line to be stoned at the next public execution. I know mothers suffering with Post Natal Depression that are terrified to go out in public and I’ve sat with anxious dads in restaurants, that bolt for the door the moment their kids start to grizzle.

Having worked in catering for many years I do emphasise with people out for a quite bite and completely understand how infuriating and dangerous it is when parents let their kids run riot. However if I saw a struggling parent I would always offer to help where appropriate and you can’t put a price on a friendly smile or acknowledging nod when the Werechild strikes again.

I have struggled through these difficult early years and have to say that removing my monster from a restaurant when a tantrum strikes normally works wonders, however sometimes as parents we have to stand our ground and face the explosion. Luckily we have come through the other side and survived eating out saga.  People are more likely to comment on the polite and well behaved little 2 year old I have sitting next to me.

In the arena of toddler tantrums I do believe it reasonable to ask spectators to give parents a chance to parent. In the same respect if the tantrum is a real ground shaking wobbler, it may help to take 5 and give you child a chance to compose themselves. Either way I think a bit more empathy and compassion from everyone wouldn’t hurt.

And finally I would like to say that the continued online attack and complete toddler intolerance isn’t helping any of us. Aren’t parents and their young children deserving of the same compassion and understanding you may show a struggling stranger rather than intolerant judging. After all I thought we had moved on from the days when children should be seen and not heard?

Good Morning Britain – Interview and links below. http://www.itv.com/news/granada/2016-10-24/toddler-tantrums-cafe-owner-says-its-not-acceptable/